Rule #1 - Don't Date Women With The Same Name
This might seem like a strange rule at first but trust me on this one. I remember a couple of years ago I was dating two Sues, two Kims and one Sue-Kim all at the same time. It was REALLY confusing and it wasn’t worth the hassle. My new rule now is that I can no longer date women with the same name at the same time. If I'm dating one Kim (as an example) and I meet another Kim, I then have to choose either her or my original Kim - I will not date them both at the same time. I recommend that you do the same.
Rule #2 - See Each Girl Once A Week Or Once A Fortnight
There's two factors at play here;
Firstly, if you see her more than once a week she will most likely consider you to be her serious boyfriend (which is fine if you really like her and you want a serious relationship with her).
AND
Secondly, if you see her less than once a fortnight she will most likely consider you to be no longer interested in her and move on to other guys (which is fine if you are no longer interested in her and don't mind losing her).
Therefore, see each girl once a week or once a fortnight - no more and no less.
Rule #3 - Have A Good Reason For Not Committing
After dating a girl and sleeping with her numerous times it is likely that she will question the relationship status from time to time. Ideally you would have discussed this with her early on in the relationship but whether it is the first time talking about it or you are revisiting the topic with her, it is crucial that you provide a strong reason why you can't commit to her that is based on the truth and that (hopefully) satisfies her.Possible reasons include;
- "I love being single!"
- "I'm planning to relocate to another city / country in the near future and I don't want to get too attached..."
- "I'm still getting over my ex girlfriend..."
- "I need to be sure we are right for each other before I commit..."
- "My work is just too hectic at the moment to have time for a serous relationship..."
Once you state your reason, whatever it is - stick to it. Be firm. The more you display your belief that it's a valid reason, the more she will accept it.
NOTE: If you do eventually fall in love with her and you want to make her exclusive at any point, you can then let the reason not to commit to her disappear and go ahead and make her your girlfriend. This is relatively easy to do.
Rule #4 - Be Super Discrete
This is one of the biggest rules and a lot of the rules that follow will be based on this. Put simply - BE DISCRETE. There's no need or reason to tell her about other girls you're dating. She may suspect that you are seeing other girls but she will never know as you keep your private life private. She will respect you for this and it helps her to enjoy the experience MUCH more.
Rule #5 - Contact Girls You're Dating Every Other Day (EOD)
There's a fine line between too much contact and not enough contact when dating multiple girls. Contact her too much and she sees you as her boyfriend. Contact her too little and she suspects you're a player and that you don’t care about her. The best solution I've found to this is to contact her approximately every other day (EOD). This doesn't have to take up much time at all - just a quick message here and a quick call there and you're good to go. Weekends aren't included in this as people are usually too busy on weekends anyway. It's weekdays and particularly weeknights when she's most likely at home and hoping you contact her that this rule is most imperative.
Also, keep in mind that EOD is the AVERAGE amount of time between contact. Some times you may contact her two days in a row and sometimes you might contact her every third day. This is fine BUT do try and maintain the EOD average over time so that it balances out and so you avoid the boyfriend/player perceptions from too much or too little contact.
Rule #6 - Avoid Her Friends And Family
Some people may disagree with me on this but my reasoning here is that if you meet say, five of her friends at a dinner or at a social event for example, you now have five extra sets of eyes that may see you when you are picking up or dating other girls. You definitely don't want her hearing "you know that guy, you're dating? I saw him all over a bunch of girls at the club last night..." or "I saw that guy you are dating holding some other girls hand yesterday..." or something similar from her friends.
The other reason I believe in avoiding her friends is, once they've met you, those same five friends of hers will most likely also be applying pressure to your girl to get a commitment out of you "what's going on with that guy? is he your boyfriend or not? what's going on? etc.". This is another headache I'd prefer to avoid.
I highly recommend you avoid her friends to maintain the privacy and discretion that the two of you have created and to avoid the potential undesirable situations as described above. You don't have to go to the extremes like one PUA I know who would literally wear a disguise whenever he had to meet any of his girls friends but you should consider the consequences anytime you do receive an invitation to meet her friends.
Rule #7 - Handle The "Other Women" Question Smoothly
The "are you dating/sleeping with other women?" question is potentially a very deadly one. Stuff it up and it's very likely that you will lose the girl and/or create unnecessary drama. So how should one handle this question? The first step is to recognize that the reason she's asking this question is because she is seeking reassurance. She wants to know that she is important to you and that you are likely to stay in her life for at least the near future. Whether or not you are actually sleeping with other girls is less important to her than how much she matters to you. Your answer then should be geared towards providing the reassurance that she seeks. This should be done as honestly and as kindly as possible.
There's a number of ways to provide this reassurance verbally and you should create your own personalized script that works for you and represents your honest feeling on the matter. What I say is usually along the lines of "right now, you're the only girl I'm thinking about. I care about you and I love spending time with you. I'm looking forward to doing heaps more fun stuff with you and getting to know you more and more.” Then I sometimes add “How about you, are you dating other guys? You know you can date other guys if you want to but just please don't tell me about it if you do... cool?". Then I change topic and make love to her or have a fun date with her to reaffirm that I'm an awesome guy that she wants to keep in her life.
Rule #8 - Avoid Expensive Dates
It's fine to have fun and interesting dates with the girls you're dating/sleeping with - just don't over do it, especially in terms of how much money you spend. In my opinion, spending too much money on a date tends to put the provider/potential boyfriend frame on the relationship and it's not what you want. My limit is usually around $20 per date but yours should be around however much you'd normally spend on an outing with a friend.
In terms of who pays for what, I do a lot of I'll pay for this and you pay for that deals with my date as it's fun, relatively fair and is usually what I do with my friends anyway. Sometimes I might pay slightly more than she does i.e. I pay for dinner ($20) and she pays for ice cream ($10) but chances are that I earn more money than her anyway so I don't mind doing this. What you DON'T want to do is pay for everything, every time and I'd also avoid the other extreme of being too strict about paying separately every time too.
Rule #9 - Slow Down Your Sarging
Once you are actively dating a number of girls and have a nice rotation of women in place, it is advisable to slow down your sarging for a number of reasons.
Firstly, there's a time for hunting and there's a time for farming. Once your hunting has brought you more than enough girls to satisfy your needs, it is advisable to then switch to farming and just focus on enjoying what you now have. Like, if I have 3 hot girls I'm dating that are basically on call for sex anytime I want, why would I go out and do a hundred approaches every week to try and get new girls? That's like having a house full of food and instead of staying home and enjoying it, going out and doing more and more hunting. It makes no sense and it's not healthy.
Secondly, even if a girl says she's fine with the whole casual sex thing - if she sees or hears about you being with another girl then you can and often will still lose her. I lost two girls in two weeks because they either saw me with a girl or saw me out with other guys who were picking up. In my opinion it’s not worth risking losing what you have if you have a good thing going with a few girls already.
Rule #10 - Get Rid Of Unwanted Girls Smoothly
If/when you lose interest in a girl you've been dating, two strategies I DON'T like are the sudden no contact strategy and the radical honesty strategy. If you've ever had a girl you liked suddenly stop contacting you for no apparent reason or had a girl tell you she's found someone else that she likes more than you, then you know how unpleasant the recipient of these can feel.
So what's a good strategy to get rid of girls you lose interest in? Gradual reduced contact. This means instead of contacting her every other day, reduce it to every third day, then only once a week etc. Being super busy or having some other external excuse to prevent you from seeing her can be helpful too but is not totally necessary. In exceptional circumstances, if it was a girl I'd been seeing for a long time I might even date her once or twice more but I would act more as a platonic friend on these dates. This gradual reduction in contact lets her gradually sense the reduced interest from you and she will almost always find another guy/s to focus her attention on. The end result is that you both move on with zero hard feelings towards each other, still have fond memories of your time together and still remain friends. You can also usually re- initiate romance later on if you chose to as well when letting girls this way rather than alternate ways that cause bad feelings between the two of you.
BONUS RULE Rule #11 - Treat Women You're Sleeping With Like Friends
I believe that the main underlying rule for dating multiple girls is to treat them all like friends.
If I had to explain and/or teach casual and multiple relationships in just one sentence I'd explain it by saying something like this:
"Having multiple girlfriends is simply you having a number of girls who you are close friends with who you hang out with and have fun with AND who you sleep with as well"
By her being your friend means that you always treat her with care, love and respect. You treat all your other friends with care, love and respect so of course you'd do the same with the female friend you are sleeping with too right?
Like you would with any friend you share fun times and experiences together and when you are together you give her your full attention.
In times of need you are there to help her and she does the same for you.
You also sleep with her as well (of course) but you don't treat her like sex is the only reason you spend time with her (it shouldn't be).
She really is a "friend with benefits" in the true sense of the phrase.
As she is your friend, as time goes by if you realize that she is wanting a committed relationship and assuming you aren't interested in providing that to her, you always handle the situation with kindness and with care. You respectfully tell her your reasons for wanting to stay single and you also emphasize how much you enjoy spending time with her and being her friend and that no matter what happens you will always remember the time you shared together and you hope you can always remain as friends.
And if it does end up that she does decide to stop sleeping with you so she can seek a committed relationship with someone else then you accept that with respect and kindness and she still remains a friend. She's still a friend, just now without the benefits but the care, love and respect still remains as it would with any other friend.
