Our brains are truly amazing things. So amazing in fact that even with all of our complex computers, it still takes a large room full of computers to mimic a simple brain function, and we can’t even begin to work out how our brain handles tasks such as deciding if an animal is a cat or a dog, or associative learning on the scale to which our brains are capable.

I’d like to discuss something most guys know very little about but which has a big impact on how you perform when it comes to learning to pick up women. In my line of work, helping men to ‘remember’ everything they learn so they can retrieve it in the moment they need to remember it is vital.

I’d like to preface this article with the statement that not once am I going to make a moral case for being honest. Nor am I going to talk about avoiding hurting people. Today I’m only concerned with men getting the best results possible when they’re trying to attract women.

In 2005, I did an intense 6 week program designed to strengthen my masculine core and get me in touch with my true desires and passions in life. This course had nothing to do with pickup, but one of the rules I had to swear to live my life by was to always be honest. This wasn’t ‘radical’ honesty where you go around being a dick to everyone by telling them what you really think of them, this was the type of honesty that required me to never mislead other people regarding who I was or what my intentions were.

In 2005, three other things also happened.

1) My self-confidence shot through the roof
2) I suddenly felt like I deserved the high quality women I was hitting on.
3) I started getting laid like a rock star.

There’s a particularly gruelling moment that most of us have experienced at least once before in our lives.

That’s the moment we find a guy who’s really good with women and has been great with them his whole life, the kind of guy we typically refer to as a ‘Natural’.

We then ask this guy the question “What’s your secret dude?”

And his response is invariable a variation on the theme of “No secret man, it’s easy, you just have to relax and wing it in the moment”.

No doubt you walk away feeling terribly unfulfilled. I mean, how does that smug bastard manage to do it so easily? Odds are that same smug bastard is less intelligent than you which usually only serves to add fuel to the burning frustration that has become your sex life.

The naturals’ secrets are in fact hidden in plain view, but the trick is knowing what you are looking for. You see, they’re using a different part of their brains to attract women from most guys, and that’s where the secret often lies.

I remember when I first got involved in the pick up community in 2004. A lot of things have changed in the industry, and pretty much all of them for the better. Old fashioned mindsets are being formatted into more accurate and morally sound views and processes. The Majority of men I talk to now want to stop being fake when they pick up women, and there is a massive shift to being more ‘real’.

One of the mantras being shouted at us back, and shouted at most guys still today is “looks don’t matter”, and any time anyone stepped up to question it, they were quickly shoved in the “limiting belief” box. But we all feel it deep down inside, we all know that somewhere along the line looks count for something, but what?

On the one hand, we clearly see women fawning over cute guys all the time, on the other we see lots of unattractive guys with stunning women wherever we look. So what gives?

Hollywood has done a lot to contribute to our views of how love works, and what we should expect from a partner who supposedly loves us. Most of us have very personal views on what love is, but scientists are getting ever closer to clearly defining the chemical processes that occur inside our bodies when we fall in love with someone. HINT: It’s alarmingly similar to a Cocaine high

I’m not going to debate today how you know if someone is right for you, or how to tell if a woman loves you, or who should say the ‘L’ word first. Today I want to talk about love as a very dangerous and possibly life-destroying habit that many men and women go blissfully through life without ever paying any attention to.

Put your hand up right now if you know someone who wasted years of their lives clearly dating someone that was ruining their lives, but they stuck in the relationship because of love. Put your other hand up if you’ve been guilty of this yourself?

This article comes with a quick nod to a man named Vilfredo Pareto, no Vilfredo wasn’t a pimp, as hard as it is to believe with an awesome name like that. He was in fact an Italian economist in the beginning of the 20th century who realised that Italians were a lot like peas.

Vilfredo noticed that 80% of the land in Italy was owned by 20% of Italians. He also noticed that 20% of the pea pods in his farm produced 80% of his peas. This unlikely correlation led Pareto to a field of economic study where he observed that in almost any system imaginable, 20% of the input leads to 80% of the output, and often the %’s are more like 10%/90%. In his honour this principal is now known as the Pareto principal, and it is used by businesses around the world.